How ABSURD can it get? Expect these 10 new MANDATORY “super-safe” COVID mandates for the next wave of the scamdemic (satire)

Every single COVID “precaution” and “safety” measure the CDC enforced over the past two years was based on pure guessing, with no scientific, evidence-based research to prove it would, or even could, work. The masks never worked because the microscopic virus particles escape and enter everyone’s face diaper anyway. Social distancing is more of an epic fail than the beloved “herd theory,” that was completely wiped out this time around by millions of vaccine shedders.

Lockdowns failed everyone and everything, from causing people to get even more sick, to suicides, to an economic tsunami, from which we may never fully recover. Then there are the clot shots, that are nearly guaranteed to wipe out a few billion people over the next few years, as we see most of the newly gene-mutated humanoids suffering from blood clots, myocarditis, heart attacks, strokes, central nervous system disorders and exacerbated “pre-existing” conditions. So what’s next?

Will everyone be forced to wear complete hazmat suits just to leave their homes during the next scamdemic?

The powers that be got away with murder, literally, with all the useless and harmful rules, regulations and mandates of the Wuhan Flu pandemic. People died from the clot shots, from the prescription drugs (think kidney-decimating Remdesivir), and from the choke-you-to-death ventilators (75 percent of patients die within four days).

The masks cause bacterial infections, that lead to false-positive PCR tests, that lead people straight to the hospital for deadly “treatments” that get hospitals and doctors bonuses.

Some people were so conned, and still are, by the absurd COVID mandates that they wear multiple masks, plastic bags over their heads, get every gene-mutating jab the CDC promotes, and keep oxygen-depriving masks on their toddlers all day too. It’s all fear-based population control, and at least half of all Americans took the bait – hook, line and sinker.

10 new MANDATORY “super-safe” COVID mandates for the next WAVE of the scamdemic

If you really want to be extra-special-careful when Fraudulent Fauci and Bill “Population Reduction” Gates release the next variants from their funded recombinant labs in Ukraine and Wuhan, then you should follow and obey the latest mandates that are coming down the pike soon. Follow these to the “T” and you shouldn’t have to worry about anything ever again. These methods are “safe and effective” because they fall right in line with all of the other mandates we’ve all had to endure already. Here we go:

#1. Mail-in disposable masks for PCR-testing — at least 3 per day required with drop boxes all over every town and city. (You can mail them with your early voting ballots.)

#2. In-automobile “breathalyzer” style instant COVID test — for every time you leave anywhere. (Test positive and the vehicle will not start for 14 days.)

#3. Mandatory goggles with mask — because if you’ve got on a mask but your eyes are exposed, then you can easily catch COVID and spread it as an “asymptomatic carrier.”

#4. Government issued (and taxpayer funded) boxes of disposable gloves — every time you touch anything you have to change gloves and throw the worn ones in the trash (or just toss it on the sidewalk with your infected mask).

#5. Monthly booster shot to ward off new sub-variant mutants of COVID, like XE.

#6. Social distancing increased to 10 feet indoors and 20 feet outside.

#7. Amazon freeze: No more Amazon deliveries because the new “highly transmissible” virus variants can survive on inanimate objects for days, according to Fauci and Walensky.

#8. Since COVID begins in exotic meats, no more animal-based meat sales — everything and everyone must switch to eating Bill Gates’ laboratory-concocted test-tube meat.

#9. Limit of one pet per household as they can carry the new variants – must euthanize all others (or just starve them to death to save money).

#10. Self-administered anal-swab kits with prepaid postage/packaging for mailing directly to the White House for emergency testing of all Americans (and illegal immigrants).

For everyone’s safety, mail your used anal swabs (wrapped delicately in a used Covid mask) to:

White House of Resident Biden

Attention: Super-Safe Swab Division

1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW

Washington, DC 20500

Bookmark Vaccines.news to your favorite independent websites for updates on new ridiculous mandates and experimental “boosters” that cause blood clots and ADE.

Sources for this article include:

NaturalNews.com

Pandemic.news

GatewayPundit.com

Censored.news